Introverts are aloof nerds

aloof2This is the eighth in a weekly series debunking myths about introverts.  (See last week’s post.)  The basis of the 10 week series is the article written by Carl King.  I will show his thinking, add mine and then encourage all of you to contribute your thoughts on the subject.

Don’t know if you’re an introvert or an extrovert?  Take Susan Cain’s quiz.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.

Carl:  Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Chris:  I am more likely to be accused of being a snob than of being aloof, I think.  Here’s the hard part about speaking to this myth, which will be an answer unto itself, because the people who I allow to know me all love me.  The ones I haven’t let into my inner circle are people I don’t really care about, so I have no idea what they think about me.  Furthermore, I’m not even curious about it.  Does that make me aloof?  I don’t know, and I don’t care.

Carl is right in that we introverts place more value in our inner life than in an outer social life.  I know that I am intensely curious about many, many things.  There is always some delicious exploring to do.  Why would I want to waste that precious time in meaningless chit chat?

The people in my life who can understand and respect my introvert life are special to me.  I share myself with them, and am happy to do so.  I care deeply about them in return.

I’m selective.  That is true.  There is nothing wrong with that.  From the looks of all the mindless twaddle out on television and in the movies these days, I would think that selectivity would be a desirable trait to encourage.

Those of you who are cat people will understand me when I say that cats are the epitome of introverts.  They have selective hearing and will deliberately ignore anything not worthy of their attention.  They choose you, and not the other way around.  They do things their own way.  They are intensely curious and can focus with laser beam precision.  When they are wanting to play, they play hard, but as soon as something gets boring they walk away.  They don’t feel the need to apologize for their early departure, or even to accept every invitation that comes their way.

I want to give a shout out to everyone who responded to yesterday’s blurb about haircuts.  I am thrilled to find out I’m not the only person in the world who dreads getting my hair done. I thought it was just me.  (And how many times have we all said that as we’ve shared our introvert lives with each other!)

As always, hit the comments and share, share, share.  I love all the interaction we have on this blog.

Have a quiet day!

Hi.  I’m Chris.  I’m an introvert.  Look for my ongoing series debunking the introvert myths (Sunday) and introvert cartoons (Wednesday), plus anything else interesting that I find in the meantime.  Come and share with like-minded introverts.  I also contribute to the new food blog Three’s Cooking, learning to cook from the heart, for the soul.

18 thoughts on “Introverts are aloof nerds

  1. Carl maybe right only in part,, I find that we [introverts] are very much into our inner thoughts etc, we also seek liking and compliments, even when sometimes we are not doing anything to deserve or warrant it. You mentioned people may think you a snob, but my experience is people think I am ignorant and rude. Maybe I am, and if I am it is only expected, due to the person or persons attitude to me because I am quiet, in the background enjoying my own world. I find that the ones who call me rude etc, are the ones that are rude and have no understanding. When I was young long haired guitar toting hippy I believed in the expression ‘live and let live’ no matter what or who one was. great posts it has made me think and remember.. 😉

  2. I am totally a cat person. I have been accused of being “too personal,” rude, snobby (if there is one thing I’m not, it’s a snob), aloof, off-putting (I’m often intentionally off-putting), and antisocial. The whole “too personal” thing really intrigued me. I posit that, like so many other introverts I know, I tend to pick my people and it catches some of them off guard. But, no matter, I am what I am, stubbornness and all. Thanks for the post!

  3. Hmm…I have been accused of being arrogant in my time! I am definitely selective and curious. Loved the bit about the hairdressing, I haven’t been to a salon for years, I use a stylist who has a ‘salon’ for individual appointments! And doesn’t chatter on mindlessly.

  4. I too, am a cat person. So much so that my hubby notices that I practically hiss when surrounded by dogs. LOL For me it’s not so much that I don’t notice what’s going on around me..it’s more that I don’t choose to comment on it.

  5. I’ve been enjoying your posts about being introvert. I have never considered myself to be like this, but your posts ring so very true in my own life…..oh, and I love cats!

  6. I have been called snobby to stuck up and everything in between. I hate small talk. I don’t share about myself in groups of people. So maybe in some ways I am aloof. But it keeps people at bay and it suits me fine. I’m a lover of all animals.

  7. Hi Chris! I think i am an introvert too, but in Balkans, where i am, there is such a strong emphasis on family, community and all the interaction that goes with it, that it’s close to impossible to have a quite day… I love them though, whenever i manage to have one 😉 Oh, and i love my cat too, she’s my role model lol! (You know what Eckhart Tolle said? “I lived with many spiritual teachers… All of them were cats.)

  8. I’ve always been jealous of people who can just chitchat with anyone & find it very awkward in a hairdresser’s chair! I have often been called a snob, I always said I was shy, but now I know better!

  9. Lol I’m not even a cat person, I don’t like spending the time and attention on them, I’m such a snob! I swear you really nail me with your great posts every time, Chris! ;^)

    • You, who are living in Egypt, the place where cats were first domesticated and treated like royalty, do not care for cats! How funny! You are such a snob. I am ROFTL. XD ❤

      • Hahaha they are fine if they leave me alone! But when they start all that damn meoooooowwwwing for food, I go nuts! Oh please, don’t get me started, lol I could go on for hours on this topic… and goats! Hahaha goats could keep me fueled for months! ;^)))

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