When to say “I love you”

loveStoryWhen I saw the WordPress Daily Prompt, No Time to Waste, I knew exactly how to fill in the blank:

Life is too short to forget to say “I love you”.

Thirteen years ago, the love of my life fell unexpectedly into a coma and was on the verge of death.  (Many of you know her, Cee Neuner, the photographer, and have joined her blog.)  I learned how uncertain life could be.  Our story turned out to be have a happy ending, for which I will be forever grateful.  (You can read about it here.)

Cee was in the hospital for four months, and during that time I saw a lot of families come and go, but one memory remains that speaks to this prompt.  After Cee had been in the hospital for a few months, they brought a new person in to share the room with her.  The woman had been hurt in an accident at work.  She’d suffered a massive brain trauma and her prognosis wasn’t clear.  Her body has curled up into a fetal position and she was unresponsive.  Her husband was in tears because he had fought with her that morning before going to work.  He said it was about something so silly he couldn’t believe they had argued about it, and now his beautiful, young, vibrant wife was trapped inside this shell.  The last words she heard from him were words of anger.  It was tearing him apart.  If she died, he’d have to live with that memory.  All he wanted was for her to wake up so he could tell her he loved her one more time.

It’s now thirteen years later and I still make sure that the last thing I tell Cee at night or before leaving the house in the morning is that I love her.  I want to make sure that “I love you” is the final  memory she has of me.

Hi.  I’m Chris.  I’m an introvert.  All of my postings tend to reflect my introvert world in some way or another.  Join me and like minded introverts for a special slant on the world.

24 thoughts on “When to say “I love you”

  1. That’s beautiful, Chris, it brought tears to my eyes ❤ – I too always tell those I love at every opportunity that I love them, because as you say you never know when it might be your last chance. Thankfully my children have carried that habit through to the next generation, too… even my little grand-daughter, since she first learned to speak, has replied 'Lubboo too!' whenever we told her we loved her 🙂

  2. Beautiful! I tell my wife the same thing each morning. I’ve failed to mention it at night only because she usually falls asleep while we are reading separately or playing on our computers or watching a movie. Maybe I should catch her the moment I get home at night!

  3. Pingback: No Time Like the Present | Cee's Photography

  4. Yes, I’m a seventy year old git! I lost my wife and son in the Estonia ferry tragedy. Their bodies never recovered. There was no goodbye, no expressions of love spoken. I was on duty in the Baltic. I consoled myself for many years that love can indeed be an unspoken thing, that one day left unsaid, one week too busy, one parting when for a myriad of reasons those words were not shared, doesn’t lessen the depth of feeling, spoil the sanctity of love. It is life.

    In fact, I have learned that our deepest disagreements can only be shared with those we love most. We don’t share them with friends, or work mates, we share our anxieties with those we know will forgive us. Who love us.

    Yes, in an ideal world, love is for sharing in every way, and I definitely encourage the sharing on this affection on a regular basis. Love will always be first, what we feel, what we do, more than what we say. Saying is a reassurance, never an insurance. Love, I believe, is surely an emotion made from marble, tough, but prone to cracks!

    The real love, we all know, was in the man’s presence, in his regret, and remember the heart always receives even when the mind does not.

    Kelly

    • Thanks, Kelly. You certainly have had more than enough loss in your life, and your words are quite profound. I never knew the end of the story, but I wish that I could have been some kind of comfort to him. I was caught up in my own drama at the time, but I prayed a lot that she returned to him healthy and whole and they had a happy life.

  5. Hello Chris. I came here from Cee’s blog entry, wanting to know what the love of her life had to say on this. I am really glad that I did. You two have something special.
    I always tell my husband I love him and he tells me. I also tell my kids & grandkids too, and some very special friends. It is good for them to know they are loved, and it is also good for me to express it.
    Thank you for your post. I am now going to follow your blog as well as Cee’s. 🙂

  6. I always think of that too. Mine was sparked by an announcement about a fatal car crash on the radio. I was thinking about people setting out on their days and suddenly their lives were over and wondered what those last words people would remember having with them. So for me to it’s “I love you”. And with my mum as she declined further into dementia that was always the words I left her with and the last time I saw her before she died I told her I loved her and she squeezed my hand. I’ll never forget that. Think we both knew it was a goodbye.

  7. Such a lovely post and beautiful sentiment. Taking time for the important people in our lives needs to be top priority. It is these folk who support us with their unconditional love and stick with us through the messy as well as the sleek times. We also kiss each other goodbye and hello again and because the MOTH is still embarrassed – 34 years on – about this exchange of affirmations we usually have a little giggle too. It’s very precious!

  8. Important share. I tell Jeff every day. And he, me. More than once. We often say that after 23 years we still feel the love – and it grows and feels good, and how can you not acknowledge that. Great reminder and post, Chris.

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