The Introvert Needs a Haircut

haircut“Hey, you let your hair grow out!”, my friend said.  We hadn’t seen each other in months and my hair is getting a bit shaggy.

“Nope, just haven’t taken the time to schedule a haircut”, I replied.

What I was too embarrassed to say was that my old hair stylist retired and I’m freaking out.  Shelley was amazing, wonderful.  She understood that SMALL TALK  is torture to an introvert.  We would share things of mutual interest, but we were also comfortable when there was silence.

Hair salons are intimidating, especially the ones trying to be modern and chic.  I feel so out of place there.  Everything about them is designed to make you be noticed.  I don’t want to be noticed.  I just want to be me.  With a hair cut that won’t embarrass me.

Not that I normally get bad haircuts.  I get nice ones.  It’s just that every time I get a haircut people always feel like they have to comment on it.  Is it really necessary to do that?  I know they mean well, mean it as a compliment, but I get embarrassed by it.

The only reason I get haircuts is that I have baby fine hair that splits if it goes to shoulder length.  It doesn’t curl.  It just lays there flat against my head.  I get it cut so that it stays out of my eyes.  I don’t have the hair for a glamor hairdo.

Dear New Stylist,

No, I don’t know what I want.  If I knew what I wanted, I’d cut it myself.  I’m not going to look through magazines of styles because that prolongs the agony, and I don’t know what would work for my hair.  Isn’t it your job to know that?  Just keep the hair out of my eyes.  I don’t want to do small talk.  I promise to tip you just as much for silence as I would for you to play thousand questions.  Heck, I’ll probably tip more for silence.   Speak softly to me.  Ignore my twitching.  Get me in and out fast.  Please!

I should open a hair salon for introverts.  There’s be comfortable chairs for reading while you wait, with good magazines.  The place would be quiet and serene.  Your stylist would speak softly to you, letting you set the tone of the conversation.  You’d come out feeling pampered and relaxed.  You’d also get a free tee shirt that says, “Yes, I got my hair cut.  Get over it.”

Hi.  I’m Chris.  I’m an introvert.  All of my postings tend to reflect my introvert world in some way or another.  Join me and like minded introverts for a special slant on the world.



13 thoughts on “The Introvert Needs a Haircut

  1. I have the same thing when I get a massage. I don’t mind visiting for a few minutes, but after that, I’d like it quiet. The gal I go to now is fine with that, but others have thought it rather weird.


  2. Exactly! Usually I just drop in at different chain places and say: “No need for a shampoo. I just want a blunt cut to here”. Hairdressers come and go from those places, and the younger ones aren’t paying much attention anyway, so it usually works out well. The really bothersome ones ask personal questions assuming that to gain your repeat business they need to show interest. People can be so uncomfortable with silence!

  3. Yes! I don’t know what I want, either, and my hair is going to do whatever it decides to do on any given day. My stylist does the best she can, but she cuts as if I’m going to get up in the morning and try to do something with it. I want a cut that makes it look just great when I hop out of bed. The good thing is she’s sort of introverted, too, quiet and calm, and that keeps me calm. The best thing is that the shop isn’t chic and modern. An old house, nice but plain vanilla.

  4. Even the words ‘stylist’ and ‘salon’ give me spasms. As for sitting in front of a mirror for so long…! So even the sort of salon you have in mind wouldn’t help. I don’t want to feel pampered. Just cut the damn stuff, and let me out of here!

  5. I can identify with losing your favourite hairdresser! I lost mine a couple of years ago, and only found a good cutter this week. She’s actually in my village, but I hadn’t had her before when I went to the little salon. She is also not a chatty person, and listens when I say what I want and does it! I too have fine, straight hair, so it needs cutting decently.

  6. I have found a solution to haircutting ordeal. I have mugshot type pics on my cellph – front, back & side. I show to stylist all 3 & ask “can?” Any doubt show pics again & even zoom in. 🙂

  7. Oh yes definitely!
    I just changed hairdresser because I just couldn’t out up with the endless talking, mostly monologue. I tried all sorts of ruses – sorry I need to do some urgent work emails, sorry but I urgently need to finish this work book etc but nothing would stop the flow! So even though the best cuts in years, I left.
    The new one in a new salon is I think as pleased to be quiet as I am. First cut I apologised that I was going to have to catch up on some work so was very busy with my blackberry and so she was quiet and since then it’s been mostly quiet with the odd comment or two. It’s such bliss!
    Have to say in massages too now I ask them to turn the plinky plonk music off as it irritates rather than relaxes…
    An introverts hair salon! I’ll be there….

  8. I would come to your hair salon for introverts. Heck, I might even open one of my own. Except that means I’d probably have to schmooze with a banker and apply for a small business loan. Nope. I’ll just come to yours.

  9. Going on 2 1/2 years since I’ve had a haircut, for exactly the reasons you describe. Fortunately, I don’t look in mirrors, and only spend time with family who are wonderfully polite, so other than the barista who said she liked the Amazon look (what does that even mean??), I haven’t been bothered. Open your shop for introverts and I might come around. Next year or so.

  10. Feel the same way about “small talk”. I’m not a “true” introvert, but am on the scale. Small talk with others makes me nervous and I’ll either get super chatty (nerves) or clam up…. And then there’s always “so, how about the weather” type talk. Unfortunately being in the middle of the scale, dead silence is just as unnerving (at times).

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